What Is An Addiction?
We pretty much know when addiction is mentioned that we are talking about hard drugs and alcohol, on a lesser note about pornography or smoking. So is an addiction just a way of repetition, as we are brought up on repetition. In other words to constantly do the same things over and over again. And so would going to work every day for 50 years be classed as an addiction. If addiction is defined as we have a behaviour that we can not control and we have to act the addiction out because we find support in that, then surely going to work to a place that we don’t want to be in, then that must be an addiction. Going to school every day and many children being forced to be separated from parents is a trauma, but we have to bend to the will and be conditioned which could be the spark that leads us into addictive personality and then feels that we have no control…
Is the addition an escape to all the suppression that was built into us at that young age, but because of the conditioning of our young fertile minds had no other way, it must believe that this is the only way to act. This unconscious action then makes us feel that we have no control and so the addict will say that is an addict and have little control over any recovery.
When we talk of remission it is through the problem, illness has gone or lying dormant within us, but could fire up at any moment and so we must be on our guard. A recovering alcoholic must not be around temptation because that might start to drink, which is depicted in many comedy sketches on TV, and we all know whats going to happen…
Diet Can Be A Major Player?
Your diet can be a major player in what we became addicted towards because of the lack of certain minerals and vitamins will make the mind-less coherent and will lead to substances that can have a negative impact on our lives.
9 Top Tips.
# 1 Notice what triggers your addictive behaviour
At Nexus Hypnotherapy we understand that the process of change is not always as straightforward as one would like. That is why we are here to help you through the process, whether Alcohol, Drugs, Gambling, Gaming or help to Quit Smoking.
Getting angry is an emotional feeling that we all experience at some point in our lives, let’s face it, even a baby will show angry in the early days of life. So I guess that anger is hard-wired into us from the beginning. That said, what is its purpose? Is it a form of self-healing? After getting angry, you release all the pent-up tension, this can make you feel cleansed in a weird way. Then you feel sorry or guilty if you have hurt someone and then if the anger is unresolved you have an argument in your head and that leads to frustration.
What Is The Cause Of Your Anger?
You may think that others have led you to the point of getting angry because it is a demonstration of how you are feeling inside, no big surprise there! But what if your anger is deep unresolved issues that you have never dealt with. As I said before a baby can get angry, it will go through different emotions, just as you would before you get really angry. This can be stress, hurt, frustration, anxiety etc and you begin to seeth, then you blow your top, so to speak.
Making Baby Quiet.
Have you noticed how quickly we are to calm down a baby, child or adult if they start to show signs of crying, upset, aggression and so on? How do we do this? By pacifying that child with a dummy, bottle, food, toys, hugs, rocking and so on? Later we use smoking, alcohol, drugs, more food or consumerism. There are practical reasons like feeding and changing a baby, but what if the separation of that child going into its own room was one of the causes…
We are separated at birth, then into our own bedroom, from our childhood toys, from home by going to school, we are forever being separated as we grow up. We are separated by people and loved ones that die. And yet we are taught not to lose anything as we must keep things safe, such as your gloves that get sewn into your coat etc… This is why we panic when we mislay things, such as car keys or mobile phones etc…
It makes sense that we should feel angry, but are we not just feeling hurt as we are not only being separated but feeling the lack of love. But when we are given love, it can be hard to accept it as it is laid on all the bad feelings that keep surfacing.
What Is The Answer?
I think the only real way is to minimise separation as separation comes when a child wants to leave home, rather than being made to leave. But all the time love can help and if a baby needs to cry and let out any hurt, let it happen. You know yourself that after a good cry you feel better, but if someone keeps stopping you from crying, then you never feel the relief.
8 Top Tips On Being Calm.
#1 Start to get control of your anger issues.
Help Is Here.
Anger is a known cause of problems of your liver and your immunity.
If you feel that you have anger issues that are ruining your life and you feel that help is needed, then feel free to contact me. Imagine feeling the relief for once and not the anger.
Philip has been a full-time Hypnotherapist in Walsall since 2004 as well as using Psy-Tap, Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR), Transactional Analysis TA & MPNLP Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Also a Child Therapist & Advance Clinical Hypnotherapist.
How Fearful Are You?
People have constant fears that run in the background of their minds. Fears have to be there in order to help and not to be seen as a negative. Fears can protect or make us take avoidance actions. Fear creates longevity by stopping us doing dangerous things. This protocol seems to get either switched off or at least turned down when under the influence of alcohol. This is why people will do stupid, crazy and foolish things that result in getting themselves killed in the process. A Phobia is a more heightened state of Fear.
Running Your Fears.
People are fearful of many things, as one can be fearful of heights another is not, as this applies to everyone at some stage in their life. Some controlled fears are good, such as a rollercoaster ride as it is fun but scary at the same time which leads to excitement and exhilaration. But fears can also run deeper, as you can fear not having enough money or job security, will your kids grow up ok and get the right qualifications for that job they want, fear of being late or missing something. fear of not being good enough or doing something right. This list of fears can be multifold and this type of fearful thinking is not good.
Head And Heart.
People who have fears are those who live in their heads too much, we all know someone like this, such as an over worrying mother for example. They look mithered, if not a little unstable in this type of fearful thinking and you can act the same because you have been brought up in that sort of environment. People who have very few fears, tend to be those who live in their hearts and care little about what their minds think. They have greater control over their thoughts. Their hearts are in a state of comfort and so there is little to fear. Because fear is an illusion that the mind tricks you. Do you remember being scared of something maybe as a child and now you’re not scared. So where did the fear go? …It was a trick of thinking,
Child vs Adult.
Naivety as a child can be great because you know that you will live forever and are unbreakable. This leads to doing crazy and daring acts or stunts which make you feel alive as the powerful adrenaline rushes through your body which is the best feeling ever! But later in life as you grow up, wisdom now kicks in as you know that you will not live forever and you are breakable and not indestructible. That tree you climbed as a child is now the one that shows you danger because you could break your leg, which means you aren’t going to earn money and this is not good, but why? This is because of wisdom, the child tends to lack wisdom compared to the adult, but wisdom can steal your confidence and this can create fears. It’s a neverending cycle of related emotions that torment you.
What Can Hypnotherapy Do For Your Fears?
As you know children can be fearful, at Nexus Hypnotherapy we help younger people to conquer their fears with therapeutic techniques that help them to become fearless or help them to reduce their fears. Some very young children can be scared of going to sleep etc… Of course, adults can also run their fear, as if driving a car with the rev-counter in the red zone, this is not healthy. So we at Nexus Hypnotherapy get you to turn down this emotion as your internal rev-counter drops down and is working in the safety zone, so to speak.
Help Is Here.
If you feel that your fears are out of control and you need to get your life back on track, then contact me to see how we can help you get over your fears of heights, spiders, dentist, white coat syndrome, dogs, flying and many more. Whether living in Walsall, West Midlands or London, don’t let your fear stop you from contacting us, we look forward to helping you. “A life lived in fear is a life half lived” quote from Strictly Ballroom.
Link to more great tips to help with your issues of fear with Philip Ayres Nexus Hypnotherapy Blogs.
Confidence, Confidence, Confidence & More Confidence…
How Confident Are You?
Confidence has to be one of those emotions that we find hard to have or at least hold onto when others try to knock our confidence. See how parents take your confidence away as they tell you how cocky you are in your puberty years, they say ‘you’re getting too big for your boots’ as well as many other sayings. Rather than saying that they should help you temper and channel your confidence. People are too eager to take other people’s confidence away from them.
Here’s Some Good News With Confidence.
You cannot take anyone’s confidence away from them, but you can surrender it. You are born with confidence which is a natural inheritable state of life. Have you noticed other’s dictate how they have no confidence, but they are very confident in telling you that they have little or no confidence?
Confidence can sit on the back burner so to speak as you use other coping methods that help you avoid situations and so you stop using your born right to be confident. Other emotions have masked your confidence so much that you believe that you don’t have any and this is not true. All therapist’s do is convince you to remove your old coping mechanisms and to build on positive past experiences and cement those seeds to use your new found confidence in your future.
7 Tips On Being Confident.
#1 Use your power pose to emit your confidence to others. Do 2 mins practice every day or more if possible.
#2 Wear clothes that have a powerful effect on you. Dress powerfully, but act relaxed. Remember the duck, on the surface of the water he is calm, but below, he paddles like mad.
#3 Start to reinforce your confidence with posture, relaxation and positive mental thinking.
#4 Take control back because you are in control and all it takes is practice. Look at life, how to master anything competently, you have to practice, as do footballers. musicians, actors to name a few. You are in control.
#5 Help bring out confidence in others, this will help you to feel more confident with how you act. It’s self-help and free.
#6 If you know someone who has the confidence you admire, this could be an actor or a family member, then notice how they act and here’s the easy bit, copy them on how they stand or notice how nothing phases them.
#7 Confidence comes from your breath and so use your breath. Singers have breath control. People lacking confidence will speak in a scared way, timid and nervous. Confident people as you will know will speak with a more commanding voice. Your confidence lies in your breath because no one has the power to take your confidence. YOU are in control.
Help Is Here.
If you feel you require that professional help to boost your confidence particularly for a special occasion. This could be a job interview, speaking to a group of people, for your own self-development or you just want to get rid of the negativity that has stopped you feeling confident, then you may just want to visit me to see how I can help you either in London or in Walsall in the Midlands. You can Contact me here. Not using your confidence can make you feel frustrated, angry and even depressed as you breed self-doubt by your inhibitions crate anxiety.
Are You Really Depressed?
Are you really depressed and if so how do you know? Depression is set on a sliding scale, from first feeling a bit down or melancholy then all the way up to suicide. Suicide is the most extreme which is definitely not healthy. But of course how bad do you have to feel to do something about your depression. Why not get yourself help when you are just feeling a bit low rather than waiting until it is so bad that you have to be on prescription drugs to help you.
Are You A Victim Of Medication Side Effects.
Drugs can only do so much, there is new evidence to suggest that they don’t work on your brain chemistry as was first thought. Could this be a placebo effect? You will also notice that some prescription drugs don’t suit everyone and you may feel you need to find one that suits you. Make sure that the medication is not causing you any undue stress, such as Anxiety. etc… It’s always better to be sure what’s going on. The same way you would check for ingredients in food.
Nature Is The Best Healer.
But what about intervention on self-help before your depression is too bad. Nature is the best healer, also medicine that is very easy to administer. If you’re in a deep depression it may take time to heal, but what about if you recognised the sad feelings and you went into nature for your healing.
Depression takes a lot of negative energy to sustain the negative feeling. No one is suggesting that you can never feel low because sad things happen to us all or all around us. It’s a normal feeling to experience – the main point is that when you are feeling low and becoming more depressed is not to stay there, see it as more of a visit. Depressed is really telling you to have a deep-rest! How often do you get a deep-rest, such as a good sleep at night…
Everything Comes To Pass.
Take stock of your mental health and thinking in a positive way, no matter how difficult things become because everything comes to pass, Even the wildest seas will become still if left alone, as muddy waters will eventually come clear.
7 Easy & Useful Tips.
#1 My tip is to notice your first signs of low feelings that you can instantly do something about it.
#2 Remember no one knows you better than you, so you are the first person that can start the process of helping yourself.
#3 Only visit your low feeling if you have to, but just don’t stay there, because this is what other people do who are on lots of medication for the never-ending cycle of their depression.
#4 Look up at the sky and find the many shapes and patterns in the clouds (of course only when safe to do so).
#5 Start to like yourself once more as most people hate themselves. You do have love inside you or you wouldn’t be able to love anything, such as puppies, kittens, food, music, reading and so on. Now start to include you in this love.
#6 Depression is a mental way of making you feel heavy, this can make you walk slow and hunched over. Stand tall, also move faster as well as feeling the ground beneath your feet when you walk.
#7 Think if your diet, medication or even people around you are causing you to feel depressed. Remember that you can always do something to help improve your life.
#8 Bonus tip. Stop acting depressed, this means any actor that plays a convincing performance, you can do the same in your life. Start acting today on how you want to be seen and the feelings will follow. It may not always be easy, but give it ago-you maybe suprised…
Help Is Here-All You Have To Do Is Ask…
If you feel that you have got to a point of in need of help, or you are ready to take action by being responsible for how your now want to feel and would like my help either in London or Walsall, then please Contact Me.
We Have Free Will.
We have free choice or what you may call free will in life, however, we are not free from the consequences of the choice that we make.
A Desire of Consequences
A desire to eat food, but not just any food, but food you know is off limits until you lose your weight. Your desire becomes overwhelming and you tuck into that big piece of chocolate cake. At this point, you had free will whether to eat it or not. But now the decision is made, you are now without free will of choice, which means you’re left with the consequences. These consequences of your desire are now out of your control and you are left with a heap of emotions, such as Guilt, Disappointment, Low self-esteem, and Discouragement. This leaves you feeling worthless or disgusted with your actions and so you beat yourself up by saying why did I do that. Why didn’t I just say no!
Do You Need To Feed Your Ego?
But this can happen on any level of your desires, such as wanting a house, car and clothes as there is a sliding scale of consequences. The big problem is that it is not so much that there are consequences, but rather that we never think about them at the time of us wanting to just feed the EGO. Now you should realise that you will never satisfy your ego, which means it continually leads you down dead-end paths that lead to nowhere. But you never learn, philosophy says that you will keep on being given the same problem over and over again until you learn from it. …This is true!
7 Tips to help you.
# 1 You cannot stop your ego, but you can separate from it by not feeding your ego. e.g You may say how you donate to charity or buy food for the animals and so you are saying ‘what a great person you are’ this is ego. You cannot feed an animal, you can only offer it food as only the animal can feed itself, this is non-ego as it is a separation from ego.
# 2 You cannot stop desires because wanting to stop a desire is in itself a desire. But rather look at the consequences firstly. If you can cope with what could go wrong with your desire, then you are less likely to get upset or angry later when things go wrong.
# 3 Ask yourself before you are parted with your hard earned money, With what I want to buy, will it enhance or enrich my life. Wait for a moment or walk away and return later to see if it is still the same desire for you. It’s your free will on what you want to do.
# 4 Ask yourself if you can manage the consequences of your actions of desire. e.g say you are travelling by air and everything is booked and paid for. You expect that you will have a trouble-free journey and why not, this is not about thinking of negativity. So your flight is delayed, this has an emotional response via your ego and so you feel frustrated, angry and anxious. But it is no surprise that these things happen and if you had put this into your plans, you would have been less stressed etc. You are taking metal insurance out on yourself.
# 5 Realise that things are just meant to happen to you, this is not personal, it’s just life. The people who at a time of little transport felt when they missed the inaugural sailing of the Titanic and their ego was getting so angry, stressed and anxious. But a few days later, they felt their relief because of what happened.
# 6 This is simple but some find it hard to follow, this is just to go with the flow of life. You are not a salmon fighting your way back upstream to spawn. Go with the flow of life as a cloud in the sky goes with the flow of the breeze. Imagine all the clouds fighting the wind, what a mess!
# 7 Stop recycling old thoughts and patterns of negative behaviours. The only reason you have a problem today is that you are recycling yesterday’s rubbish. Tomorrow is a brand new day of unlimited possibilities, so go and have fun.
Can I Help?
If you feel that you may require professional intervention from a qualified hypnotherapist, then please feel free to contact me.
Uniquely-equipped for analyzing sheep in Birmingham. Spent high school summers merchandising wooden trains in the UK. Had some great experience deploying jigsaw puzzles worldwide.